i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize