thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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