As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
