she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
