heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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