it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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