His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
