sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
