Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
