It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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