You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
