I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
