got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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