I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
