But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
