i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
