Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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