Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
