ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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