You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
