Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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