we're blogging at a bar
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
