Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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