I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
