I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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