They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
