your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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