youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
