it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize