I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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