Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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