if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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