Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
