Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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