Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She's the barista slut.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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