I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
