Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
