I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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