What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
