just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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