She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
