Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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