He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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