it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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