Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
