Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
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