I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just blew my weed a kiss
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
