I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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