My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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