His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
