I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
