is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
