I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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