Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
