I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
