Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
