I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If I die, sorry about rent.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize