he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
