he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
