your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
