So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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